![]() This was all done by artist Ian Miller and it is by far my favourite part of the whole film. That’s some motherfucking craft right there, that’s what that is. Okay, so I will be tearing strips off this movie pretty much all through so let’s get one thing out of the way the backgrounds are STUPENDOUS. Am I being picky? Maybe, but the fact that I’m noticing little stuff like that is a bad sign in and of itself, no? Anyway, Necron shoots Weehawk’s partner (or possibly his twin brother considering that they’re the same fricking dude) and Weehawk knocks Necron off a cliff and they go plummeting into the waters below. But when they have the creatures chasing through the forest they still use the sound effect of horses clopping despite the fact that they don’t have hooves. That is a clever, interesting way of overcoming you budget restrictions. Like, you see those things they’re riding? They’re two legged because that makes them easier to animate. And look, I know this thing was made for only 1 Million dollars but at the same time…God there is just so much sloppiness here. One of these characters is a major protagonist and one of them is a background character we never see again and I can’t tell them apart and that’s fine. They pull off the hits but while riding his dick faced mutant ostrich Necron crosses paths with an elf berserker named Weehawk. Blackwolf send three of his minions, including a red robot named Necron 99, on a mission to assassinate the rulers of the dwarves, fairies and elves. Three thousand years have passed and Blackwolf has set himself up in your standard issue villainous citadel in the irradiated wasteland of Scortch. So, the narration finished, we actually begin what is known in film school as “that actual damn movie”. He wants to create a world where the hideously disfigured remnants of the human race can actually be in charge of their own damn planet. The Queen dies, Blackwolf tries to take over, Avatar’s all “hell naw”, they fight, Blackwolf loses and leaves to create a world where “mutants can rule”. The two brothers grew to be incredibly powerful, with Avatar doting on his mother while Blackwolf never visited her and spent his time torturing animals with his magic. The first was a beautiful little cherub named Avatar, and the second was a grotesque mutant who the Elves named Blackwolf because he’s clearly going to be bad news so why even bother, right? The narrator drowsily informs us that one night the Queen of the Elves fell into a trance and wandered off and when her subjects found her she had two twin babies. …and in the meantime, fairies, Dwarves and Elves have returned to the Earth from…wherever they were hiding out. ![]()
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